i'll lay here dizzy and dreaming

we held hands like summer was ending.
and we were drifting apart,
the swells drowning us both.

http://piccsy.com/2011/05/rent-free/

our hearts breaking like the crunch of hermit crabs underfoot...
(who's going to sing us Portuguese lullabies, now?)

you were designed to run
-call it taking flight or self-preservation-
and i, i was designed to look the other way
and hold my tongue
trace circles into the fabric of my jeans with my fingers
wearing down to the pristine bone
burning holes through denim

we held hands like the atomic bomb just blew
and you were the last person on this earth i wanted to be touching.
feet planted and my eyes watching the closing curtains fall
and the feel of your loose grip will haunt me to my grave.
-there's a reason for all of this i'm sure-
the dust my body leaves in the wake of this achievement,
i hope you can't wash it off you or your clothes ,
and i hope your insides are filled of me.
so that when you finally burst, as well,
all that's left are the broken dreams crashed like waves on pavement

(jesus... teach me about patience.)

you let go.
don't call me liar...

• my darlings, little girls, the ones i'll love with my dying breath even if i hate you one day:

i'll protect you like i always have from everyone but myself...
and even then... if i hurt you, i'll hate myself more than you ever could.